What am I doing here? I’ve never made a cake in my life. I really just don’t like or enjoy baking. Baking the verb, not the noun. I really love baking the noun when it involves chocolate. Huuuuuuge chocolate fan. Don’t have much of a sweet tooth other than that, but I would fight children for chocolate.

I think the part of baking that just doesn’t turn my crank is its unforgiving demeanor. There’s really not much room for improvising in baking, which is my forte. No “some of this, if you have it” or “add this if you like”. It’s all “2.65 deciliters of this”, “12 fathoms of that”.

Needless to say, it was a buddy’s 30th birthday last week, so I decided to make a cake. A manly cake of course. And when I gave it to him, I kind of just tilted my head toward the cake slightly, as if to say “Yeah, whatever. Don’t make a big deal out of it”. Pffff. I showed him.

This dark chocolate espresso cheesecake is insane. Like, seriously intense. If you close your eyes and imagine riding that big white luck dragon from The Never Ending Story in to the center of the sun, that would approximate the intensity of this cake.

Dark Chocolate Espresso Cheesecake

Crust
9 ounce package Dark chocolate wafer cookies (from one 9-ounce package)
1 tablespoon sugar
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, melted

Filling
1 bar high quality 70% Cocoa Bittersweet Chocolate, chopped
4 (8-ounce) packages cream cheese, room temperature
1 1/4 cups plus 2 tablespoons sugar
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
4 large eggs
2 tbsp strong espresso

Topping
3/4 cup whipping cream
6 ounces high quality 70% Cocoa Bittersweet Chocolate, chopped
1 tablespoon sugar
Bittersweet chocolate curls
Roasted espresso beans

For crust:
Preheat oven to 350°F. Butter a 9-inch-diameter springform pan with 3-inch-high sides. Blend cookies in processor until finely ground; blend in sugar. Add melted butter and process until well blended. Press crumbs evenly onto bottom of prepared pan. Bake just until set, about 5-7 minutes. Cool the crust while preparing filling, but maintain oven temperature.

For filling:
Brew two shots of strong espresso and let cool. Stir chopped chocolate in metal bowl set over saucepan of simmering water (called a double boiler) until melted and smooth. Remove bowl from over water; cool chocolate until lukewarm but still pourable. Blend cream cheese, sugar, and cocoa powder in processor until smooth. Blend in eggs 1 at a time. Mix in lukewarm chocolate and espresso. Pour filling over crust; smooth top. Bake until center is just set and just appears dry, about 1 hour (but keep an eye on it). Ideally, if you have the time (which you should since you choose to bake a cheesecake) you’ll want to completely cool before refrigerating. You don’t have to, but cooling a hot cake will cause moisture to be trapped in. Run knife around sides of cake to loosen. Chill overnight.

For topping:
Stir cream, 6 ounces chocolate, and sugar in heavy medium saucepan over low heat until smooth. Cool slightly. Pour over center of cheesecake, spreading to within 1/2 inch of edge. Chill until topping is set, about 1 hour. This icing can be made a couple days ahead if you like. Cover with foil and keep refrigerated. Reheat slightly when ready to pour over cake.

Release pan sides. Transfer cheesecake to platter. Top with chocolate curls, espresso beans and grated cocoa. Let stand 2 hours at room temperature before serving. This actually makes a big difference believe it or not. The cake will be much more dense right out of the fridge.

Strap yourself in and go to town.

World-class air guitar upon presentation of cake.